The Single Parents Guide to Anger Management in 2013 & Beyond
I hate to break it to you, but single parenthood is no easy task, and even if you and your ex-partner are amicable, you may still have to deal with your child or children’s issues surrounding the split, as well as potentially your own. There’s obviously no easy way to deal with angry children, but there are precautionary measures you can take to make things easier on you at the time and take some of the stress away.
Don’t Take It Personally
It can be hard to remember this but it is important to not allow yourself to get down. Children will say all kinds of things to get your attention when they are throwing a tantrum, and this can include ‘Daddy/Mummy does it better’ taunts. Just remember that these tantrums are tests and they don’t mean it personally.
Distraction Techniques
Children get angry, they get frustrated and they will take it out on you and their surroundings. A great way to encourage them to blow off steam (and hopefully tire them out in the process) is to get them running around. Encourage them to vent their anger by running around the room to ‘run away’ the anger they’ve built up. It may seem silly but their pent up frustrations will benefit from having their mind taken off whatever it is that upset them.
Talk Things Through
Often children get angry when they don’t understand or if they don’t think they’re being listened to. Once they’ve calmed down you should sit and talk through what has upset them, and work out a way to ensure they don’t get upset by the same thing again.
Set Boundaries
If things start to spiral out of control, and especially when children reach their teens, it is essential to maintain boundaries. Let them know that it’s ok for them to be angry, but not to take it out verbally or physically on you or other family members. If you struggle to control your teen’s temper, tell them to take a walk to calm down before they come back and talk.
Don’t Deal With Anger Management Alone
There are many resources out there to help with your issues, and no matter what you’re going through always remember that someone else will have gone through it before. Websites like Oneplusone.org.uk offer great advice sections on anger management with children and teens, as do counselling services and also friends and family who’ve experienced similar. Suffering in silence, or trying to fix the problem alone will likely make things worse, as you’ll cause yourself stress and heartache when you think you’re failing.
The important thing to remember when dealing with anger management as a single parent is that dealing with it solo should never have to be an option. Your child should always know that you are there for them and you’ll support and love them no matter what. On the other hand you have to know that they will need two parents, and so even if you haven’t got a good relationship with your ex-partner, bear in mind that your child will feel the need to have involvement or at least talk about your ex. There’s no easy way to deal with anger management but oneplusone and other organisations can help.